My Village is Falling

As the old African Proverb says, it takes a village to raise a child.  I don’t know many other African Proverbs but I can surely tell you that this one hits it right on the head.  I was born in the hometown where President Rutherford B. Hayes called his home, Fremont, Ohio, where everyone either knew each other or was related to one another.  I had just about all of my aunts and uncles nearby as well as my grandparents, second cousins and so forth.  Approximately six years later, we moved to my father’s hometown, Toledo, which was about 30 minutes away and still close to family. Fast forward to today, the nearest blood relative is in New Jersey, my mother-in-law, who visits with us each weekend.  Yes, it was my decision to marry the love of my life who attended law school here in New York who then took a job in the city shortly after graduation.  While we had a great time as newlyweds in one of the greatest cities in the world, insert kids and the whole dynamic shifts.  Dramatically. 


Sparing you the “how it all went down and how it got to this point,”  I just got dumped by my son’s daycare provider.  There was no warning, no hint, no beating around the bush. Correction, there was a little beating. I didn’t do anything wrong.  She just decided to care for four children and no more.  Before finding this provider, I admit that I have never been a fan of daycare.  I still am not a fan, but I just happen to like this place.  I have my reasons why.  If you’re interested in learning why, just ask me in the comment box below.  After two years of driving by this home two blocks from my home, I decided to try an in-home daycare I noticed in my neighborhood after finding them on the Child Care Council of Nassau website.  This confirmed that the business is licensed and legitimate.  I loved the homey feel of the daycare, loved the owner who was very loving to the children, and loved that it was on my route to/from my home so I could do a drive by at any time if needed.   My son attended three days a week for up to six hours for approximately one year just so I could take some time to run errands, get things done around the house, and enjoy quiet time for myself while my daughter was in pre-k.  Every mom needs that. Every mom should take time for herself so she can be her best for the children.  Same to you if you’re a stay-at-home-dad.

I was very upset about how it all happened.  I felt we had a good relationship.  I’m just out of luck on this one.  Now that I’ve been dumped, my perfectly built village, or support system has crumbled.  In September, my son started nursery school three days a week bumping him down to a per diem client.  I would use the daycare for emergencies, visits to my Manhattan hair stylist every 4-6 weeks, to attend my older child’s class room visits, etc.  Now, I no longer have that option and it sucks.  I am not going to search for another daycare because, well I’m just not.  I was pretty down in the dumps for a few hours especially after Friday just seemed to be a day of one disappointment after another.  Nothing that day went right for me.  However, I had to remind myself that it’s not that serious.  I reminded myself that I do have support.  I have friends nearby who can help me if I find myself in a pinch.  I have a neighbor who may be available in desperate times of need.  I also will have to try to pack everything into the three hours on the three days my son is in nursery school.  My husband will just have to take the day off of work when I need to get my hair cut and colored. (Insert grin here.) I feel better already.

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